I can't believe it has been a year. A year since this Collaborative was birthed. A year since I took a leap of faith. And I'd love to have a rosy story about how amazing this year has been, but let me tell you some facts.
I cried the day of launch. I put my heart and soul into creating a resource that I had so desperately needed and it launched to crickets. Not only did we accidentally launch the week of the US Presidential Elections, but also I had in my head that people were chomping at the bit for this resource. That just wasn't the case. But why?
Why did we sell nothing for the first 60 days?
Why? Because I was imagining filling a need my audience didn't ask for. My audience asked for FASD courses and I gave them.....a course on escalations? What!? No! That's not what they wanted!
But I had a vision.
My vision was launching a Collaborative NOT focused solely on FASD. Where we bring...
I have googled for a long time, but correct me if I just am a terrible google-r.
I cannot find discussion around the school CAUSING trauma. When you look up school and trauma you get articles about how to provide trauma-informed care in an education setting. How to support the kids who aren't eating at home and the kids who have to sleep with one eye open.
Let's talk about the kids who have to go to school with one eye open. The kids for whom school is the most dangerous place. Why would school be like that? What would cause that?
Children who should be eligible for special education services can be traumatized by school in the following ways:
- Not being identified and therefore being treated like a child who doesn't need support. Consistently failing at assignments and/or getting in trouble leading to a heightened vigilance or avoidance of assignments altogether.
- Being identified as a "behavior only" child when really the behavior...
I talk to a lot of parents. I talk to parents in crisis, parents who think they've gotten it all figured out, and parents who think this "new age" positive parenting movement is ruining society.
If only they understood "Kids Do Well If They Can" like I do. Dr. Ross Greene uses this as the foundation of his approach of "Collaborative and Proactive Solutions" (CPS). His website says, "The model is based on the premise that concerning behavior occurs when the expectations being placed on a kid exceed the kid’s capacity to respond adaptively."
He says the opposite of "kids do well if they can" is "kids do well if they wanna." That is, our belief shifts to the idea that kids have to be motivated to do the right thing. Then we are in a position of adjusting bad behavior rather than correcting a skill deficit or altering an expectation.
I often explain it like this...
I used to drive ships. So say you and I...