I talk to a lot of parents. I talk to parents in crisis, parents who think they've gotten it all figured out, and parents who think this "new age" positive parenting movement is ruining society.
If only they understood "Kids Do Well If They Can" like I do. Dr. Ross Greene uses this as the foundation of his approach of "Collaborative and Proactive Solutions" (CPS). His website says, "The model is based on the premise that concerning behavior occurs when the expectations being placed on a kid exceed the kid’s capacity to respond adaptively."
He says the opposite of "kids do well if they can" is "kids do well if they wanna." That is, our belief shifts to the idea that kids have to be motivated to do the right thing. Then we are in a position of adjusting bad behavior rather than correcting a skill deficit or altering an expectation.
I often explain it like this...
I used to drive ships. So say you and I...
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