An Unmet Need

Nov 14, 2022
An Unmet Need
 
by Aubrey Page, Co-Founder
 
The whole reason that I started on this journey 3 years ago was because I saw a gap in the system. The system was made to function. It didn't have to function efficiently or effectively. In some ways, the system was made just so someone can add a link to their reelection campaign or resume that said "I did this." That doesn't mean that it positively impacted the community it was supposed to serve. The gap was between the families who needed the most support and everything else.
 
The biggest help to my own parenting journey was education.So I started there.
 
How could I get the information that empowered me into the hands of other families?
 
The first step was:
 
So often organizations are required to provide trainings to their clients, but was it something they could leave the training and implement immediately? Did the training match the real life experience of the audience? I was...
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We're Back!

Nov 01, 2022
by Aubrey Page, Founder

 

I remember all of the energy I had going into our one-year anniversary. I was so excited to make our first animated video. I was excited about broadening what the Collab could be. Alex and I worked long hours on that video.
 
And that video was the last thing I posted on the Collab feed until today.
 
Why did we disappear for a year? We'll call it a sabbatical...
 
Honestly, I was too overwhelmed. My family was in crisis and instead of pushing forward, I stepped back. What unraveled in the following months included my discovery of my own ADHD and a major renovation on our newly purchased historic home.
 
This has been a season of me learning that I can do some things, but I cannot do all of the things.
 
Although it was the best thing at the time, this "sabbatical" has meant that we have been unable to launch some courses that we had planned or advocate on the level that we usually do. It means...
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Why Dr. Greene Says You Won't Get to the Bahamas

Mar 27, 2021
by Aubrey Page, Collaborator/CEO

I talk to a lot of parents.  I talk to parents in crisis, parents who think they've gotten it all figured out, and parents who think this "new age" positive parenting movement is ruining society.

If only they understood "Kids Do Well If They Can" like I do.  Dr. Ross Greene uses this as the foundation of his approach of "Collaborative and Proactive Solutions" (CPS).  His website says, "The model is based on the premise that concerning behavior occurs when the expectations being placed on a kid exceed the kid’s capacity to respond adaptively."

He says the opposite of "kids do well if they can" is "kids do well if they wanna."  That is, our belief shifts to the idea that kids have to be motivated to do the right thing.  Then we are in a position of adjusting bad behavior rather than correcting a skill deficit or altering an expectation.

I often explain it like this...
I used to drive ships.  So say you and I...

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FASD and Human Trafficking

Nov 28, 2020
by Aubrey Page, Collaborator/CEO (originally published July 30, 2020 on aubreypage.org)

In honor of World Trafficking Against Persons Day, July 30, I want to discuss the intersectionality of Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders and Human Trafficking. I have been a passionate advocate for human trafficking for years, but one of the reasons that it was easy for me to be passionate about FASD was that I saw this link.

Human trafficking is a complex series of people grooming children and adults in order to exploit them. Let's look at what steps these take. Many professionals reference the AMP Model which stands for Action Means Purpose.

The AMP Model is widely accepted as how to identify the existence of trafficking, but it is important to note that children cannot consent and do not require means.

 
 
So then if we look at how FASD can be impacted, we will see that individuals with FASD struggle with cause and effect. That can mean that individuals can be more easily...
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What makes your eye twitch as a parent?

Nov 09, 2020
by Aubrey Page, Collaborator
Sometimes you feel like you're spinning in circles. You keep trying new parenting tactics, but you hit road blocks. And then that one thing happens. The thing that makes your eye twitch.
 
Maybe for you it's lying. Maybe for you it's disrespect. Maybe it's sibling fights. We all have the thing. The thing that sends you from 0 to 100 in 2.5 seconds flat.
 
When we are in the moment we feel like it's the thing that our kid is the worst at, but when we are able to step away we can see it's the thing that impacts us the most. Whether it reminds us of our past or happens to be a message we got about parenting that makes us feel like we are bad parents if our kids do this. Either way, it is about us. Not them.
 
For me, this is the hardest part of parenting. I want to hold my kids accountable for every feeling I have. Explain to myself that it's because they do x that I yell. Or because they won't do x that I took away whatever. Realistically,...
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