Why Dr. Greene Says You Won't Get to the Bahamas

by Aubrey Page, Collaborator/CEO

I talk to a lot of parents.  I talk to parents in crisis, parents who think they've gotten it all figured out, and parents who think this "new age" positive parenting movement is ruining society.

If only they understood "Kids Do Well If They Can" like I do.  Dr. Ross Greene uses this as the foundation of his approach of "Collaborative and Proactive Solutions" (CPS).  His website says, "The model is based on the premise that concerning behavior occurs when the expectations being placed on a kid exceed the kid’s capacity to respond adaptively."

He says the opposite of "kids do well if they can" is "kids do well if they wanna."  That is, our belief shifts to the idea that kids have to be motivated to do the right thing.  Then we are in a position of adjusting bad behavior rather than correcting a skill deficit or altering an expectation.

I often explain it like this...
I used to drive ships.  So say you and I...

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The 5 C's of Responding to an Escalation

by Shannon Iacobacci, Collaborator
I am often asked "What do you do when your child is having and emotional escalation or episode?" That is such a hard question to answer because each child is different, especially those with FASD, brain-based and neurobehavioral conditions. However, in my experience, there are a few things that I have come up with to help me with my own children. I must first remember that this is a brain issue, not a behavior issue. What I am seeing and experiencing is my child’s brain-based disability in action. That being said, first and foremost, safety is key. Keeping my child safe and those around her safe is THE most important thing, and we do what we need to do for safety first. 
 
I have come up with my own 5 C's to remind myself in the middle of an escalation:
 
  1. Stay Calm- This is THE HARDEST thing to do. When my child is turning over furniture, slamming doors, screaming, hitting, biting, throwing things, and everything in between,...
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