When the Doctor Said "No Babies"

By Melissa Jan
I remember the day I was told that the % of getting pregnant was well below zero...
 
I was around the age of 18 and when I was told I wouldn’t be able to carry my own baby. I immediately felt a sense of shame and that there was something wrong with me. I never shared this information with anyone, not my mom or my sister. I was ashamed that my body couldn’t produce what other woman’s could.
 
This isn’t my first time telling the story, but it may be the first time for you reading it. I often get asked what are the reasons for not being able to conceive. I am very transparent about my story and once I was told “no babies” I accepted what my doctor told me, which was that due to my Epilepsy and the medication I was taking it did harm to my body in that area. I mean, he was my doctor, I should trust him right?!
 
Fast forward five years and I am about to get married to my first husband, I am at my stagette with my...
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Their Story: A Biological Mother of an Amazing Daughter with FASD

by Melissa Jan, Collaborator 
I was 12 when I had my first seizure. I had so many that my parents stopped counting. The doctors diagnosed me with Epilepsy. Just a typical 12 year old having to take medication to control them and hoping and praying that I’d never have a seizure in front of my friends was one of the hardest things I went through in my teenage years. Then something even worse happened. I was told by my doctors that my chances of being able to have a baby of my own were less than 1%. My world as I saw it in the future, ended. No, it wasn’t my life goal to just be a mom to my own blood, but knowing now that it wasn’t going to happen, I was crushed.  I didn’t tell anyone, no friends, no boyfriend, not even my family. I blamed myself, if only my brain worked properly if only I didn’t have to take medication that I was told was decreasing my chances of reproducing one day. If only…
 
Fast forward to me at 24 years old....
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